i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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