i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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