The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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