Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My feet surprised me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
