You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
that is very illegal...i love you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
