4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
