i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize