Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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