Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
