how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
