At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
