remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
