The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
