): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
