Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
