Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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