so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
