we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
