She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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