My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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