Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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