i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize