I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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