even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
