Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
