Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
These tits shall not be calmed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
