Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize