She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
