Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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