I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
