Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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