What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
