I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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