I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
