honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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