Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
