I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize