I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
