Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
