we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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