Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
