You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
