Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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