I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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