Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
