im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
