I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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