dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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