Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
