last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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