hotel room ftw
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
