I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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