it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
