he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
