There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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