FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
