FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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