Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize