Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
