Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Enjoy the penises
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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