i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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