Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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