there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
