After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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