Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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