If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're too hungover to prance.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
