SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
