True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
