just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
