my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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