omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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