I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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