i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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