So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
