I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
