He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
