do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We need to rekindle our bromance
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
