A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
