So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
