just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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